The past 24 hours was one of the hardest yet amazing days I've experienced in youth ministry. It was as if I was experiencing a mountain top and valley at the same exact time. I hit the road for Montgomery, AL at 5:45 am CST to attend the funeral of one the youth from my beginning days of youth ministry. In a previous post I told the story of Addy Hamilton and how she passed away of Brain Cancer last week. It was less than a week from the time they found the tumor til they unhooked her from life support. I was so busy last week that I was almost in "go" mode the entire time and never really let myself feel the loss until Saturday night when I burst into tears as I was trying to go to sleep. My husband wasn't going to be able to go with me and I felt like I was going to have to face this "alone." Although I wish I could have had him by my side...I was everything BUT alone on Sunday. God was with me and had gone before me.
I got to Montgomery in time to attend the early church service. I don't get to visit often, so I wanted to try and see as many people as I could. From the time i walked in the door at Aldersgate UMC, I was greeted with hugs and smiles of old familiar faces. I went to take a seat and immediately saw some previous co-workers and youth (who are now adults). One former youth in particular had her little boy and husband with her. As the service started I watched as two of my grown youth participated in the praise team. As they finished, one of them came and sat with me through the service. My favorite moment was when her phone dinged as the preaching began and I looked over and said, "Some things never change, huh?" with a smile and laugh.
During the hour between the first and second service I went out to my car to get a book when a car drove by me, hit the brakes, and reversed back to me. It was a dear former co-worker who was shocked to see me, so I hopped in her car as she ran an errand. We caught up and she looked at my wedding pictures. It was as if no time had passed at all. As I walked through the hallways of the church where I first started my journey as a youth minister, it triggered so many memories. There are a lot of people there who don't know me or my past service there, but there were many smiling faces young and old who blessed me with their hugs and smiles. As I walked into the sanctuary to meet up with my best friends family, one of the lights of my life intercepted me in the hallway. Jacob Tribble. Jacob was in my youth group and I try to visit with him every time I'm in town. We have been through a lot together. From having him at every youth event to holding his hand through his girlfriend's funeral years back to the youth always supporting him in the Buddy Walk. One thing is for sure, no matter how I feel, Jacob brings the smile back to my face and fills my heart with joy. He was shocked when he saw me and kept going, "Oh my gosh...Morgan, it's Morgan, Dad look, it's Morgan." He immediately became attached to my side the rest of the day, which was more of a blessing than he will ever know. As the second church service started more familiar faces filled the room. I would look over at Jacob throughout the service and he would just smile from ear to ear.
As the service came to a close, the church emptied and those of us left, were those who knew Addy. The day we had dreaded was upon us. As her closest friends and former youth of mine came in, they immediately came up to me and hugged me. We exchanged sentiments, but what can you really say? Everyone had something in common. We had all been impacted by Addy's life. As we chose our seats the rows filled up all around us of Addy's friends and family. Charter buses of students from the University of Alabama filed in one after another. The church was almost packed. The night before, 1000 people had come to pay their respects at her visitation. By the time the service started our row and the row in front of me (as well as scattered around the sanctuary) were filled with my former youth, youth volunteers, and their families. It was the first time since 2005 that this exact group had been together.
During the service, the music minister, Steve Badskey, who had been on every youth choir tour with Addy, shared about her life. Most of his stories stemmed from the mission trip we took to Vancouver, British Columbia...the place that had impacted my life so much, and I wanted my youth, at the time, to experience the same thing. Steve shared stories of and memories of that trip and other youth mission trips and choir tours.....things that no one else in the room would understand but those few rows and it felt really special, that in those moments,despite time and distance, the seeds that were planted by years ago, were showing buds in the life of now adults. As the service ended, we were the last group to leave the sanctuary. We sat and cried with each other, laughed with each other, hugged each other. Former youth, their families, and youth volunteers. Those who couldn't be there were remembered in our hearts. As we said our goodbyes, to each go back in different directions to the places God has called us, there were several "thank you's" whispered in my ear. "Thank you for being here. Thank you for pouring into these kids lives back then. Thank you for supporting them now. Thank you for being there for Addy." If you are in ministry. That's not why you do it. In fact, you don't expect it and when it happens, it is a gem, but it wasn't the thank you's that meant the most.
You see....from my seat...the "bud" on the plant...was seeing former youth, as adults, giving back at the church, participating in worship, helping with children's classes, seeing them support each other through a hard time, watching them mouth the words to a praise song at the end of the service while their heart was breaking, seeing a beautiful life and hearing a testimony of a youth whose earthly race is over but impacted thousands of lives. Addy's love for the Lord, her family, her church, the homeless, missions, choir....everything was testified to as she finished the race in a strong way. Truth be told, back in the day some of these kids made me want to pull my hair out at times. (And I'm sure I made them want to pull out theirs) :) Some of them I had the same conversation with over and over and over and felt like I was getting no where. I was reminded of something in the midst: sometimes God gives you the tool to till the soil. Other times He lets you plant the seeds. There are other times when we get the watering can or the fertilizer, and sometimes....we get the blessings of seeing the plant grow. We don't always get to be a part of every process in every young persons life....but we are all part of THE process. We're all farmers. It's a huge field and it takes everyone doing their part. I'm so glad I had so many "Farmers" in my life as a teenager...that have continued on in my adult years.
As I woke up this morning....I had a text from a youth in Atlanta. This youth in particular is one that I've labored over since I've been there. Most of the time, its frustrating mainly, because it's heartbreaking, but God knew I needed a little reminder that He is at work, even when it feels like we aren't getting through. It said, " Goodnight Mama Morgan. I love you very much and you're the one I can count on. You're like my Mama/Best Friend. I love you and have fun." Im so thankful for the opportunity to be a Farmer in the Urban Setting. There's lots of different types of things in the soil that I've never really faced before, but I know God gives us everything we need for HIM to work THROUGH us.
Thank you God for the small things. Thank you God for not letting me walk away from youth ministry. Thank you for a giving me a husband who is passionate about the same things. Thank you for all YOU have done in the lives of youth.
To ALL of my "kids" around the south east. I am SO proud of the young men and women you have become. I pray that you will pick up a tool and sow into the lives of the generation behind you. To the youth volunteers and families....thank you for walking with me and with them. Your role is INVALUABLE. Thank you for standing in the gap for them all these years and continuing to show them support. And as well all know......those of us who have the privilege to work with youth...WE are the ones who are most richly blessed in the end.
We will miss you Addy...but I know it made you so happy to see us together again.
How about a Vancouver reunion trip? ;)
For His Renown,
Morgan
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