Wednesday, January 28, 2015
I've been thinking about community and friendships lately. What does it mean to me? What do I want from it? What can I give to it? I have watched it be done well and I have watched it go terribly wrong.
I think that everyone has this desire deep down wether it's verbalized or not to be seen, heard, encouraged and held accountable, but I wonder just how much we really truly give people the space to do that. Too often I watch people say they want it, but then once the cards are on the table they slowly revert back into the comfort of a "fast food relationship." Sometimes that person is me. Fast food is easy right? If I don't have much time, not worried about the quality or nourishment, I can swing through the drive thru. It is fairly cheap and quick. It meets a need, but can leave me feeling ill and wishing I would have taken the time to actually do the work of grocery shopping and preparing a home cooked meal. Being healthy takes work. I have to think and plan ahead, especially if I want something tasty AND healthy. I have to consider what ingredients I need, purchase and prepare them. Sometimes it leaves a mess in the kitchen and I've got to take the time to clean it all up. I used to settle for fast food many nights because I didn't have to think about. Recently though, I discovered that I will go through the trouble if the result is something of value to me.
I wonder if friendships and relationships are not often treated in the same manner. We can live a life of fast food relationships and rarely be seen. We can be the life of the party and go home feeling empty. We can sit in bible study groups with a smile on our face and be broken on the inside. We can appear to be the most confident while secretly feeling incredibly insecure. We let people get just close enough to like us, but when it's time to start doing the work, we speed on through that drive thru.
There are going to be those people in our life, but if you look around and everyone is whizzing by....I would pose this question....Why? Are they merely just an acquaintance? If it is a person with whom you desire a relationship have you made no space for them to chop vegetables, stir the pot and stay for dinner?
I want to be a person who gives people space to help me prepare the meal and stay for dinner. I have to be careful who I engage in this process with because there is not room at this type of table for every single person in my life, but there should be room for at least one, if not a few.
What do home cooked friendships look like?
I think these are the type of friendships where you celebrate in the successes, gently hold the fragile places, pick up the broom when things get broken, tread water when things get tough and then there's the bull eyes. Sometimes it means throwing the dart into the bull's eye when it's needed. Seeing the truth and speaking it. Receiving truth because you know it is in love. Chopping the vegetables, washing the dishes and staying for dinner.
There's nothing like that first bite of a delicious meal that you have labored over. It is usually worth the effort and knowing there are people to share it with makes it even better.
A home cooked meal is a labor of love.
Linking up for the first time over at Cara Strickland's Little Did She Know blog about friendship! Check out some other great thoughts on the subject!