Learning to be Me.

This picture reflects how I feel a lot of days:

Can you identify with this? Do you feel pulled in a thousand different directions at work, home, school, etc? Are you a people pleaser? Maybe it's that you are faced with many opportunities and it's not that they are bad but you have to learn to say "No" to some in order to "yes" to other things.

I spent a lot of my life trying to be who other people wanted me to be. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to be included, so I would over commit myself to various activities as a means of acceptance. I wasn't exactly sure what God was doing in my life or what exactly He wanted me to do so I tried to do everything.   In various jobs I'd end up doing things that really weren't in my realm of responsibility but "someone" needed to do it so I was a warm body that picked up the slack (not to be confused with "teamwork").  I'm famous for seeing a need that isn't being filled and taking it on as my project.  But the older I get, the more I'm realizing that there are just some things that are not in my skill set and I don't need to apologize for that. 

I'm sure I've shared the following before in some form, but it made such an impression on me, I'm sharing it again. I was blessed to have some bosses in my career that really invested in me beyond the normal work day. One of my bosses and his wife told me the following during a real transitional point in their life and mine. As I was visiting with them one night, they explained to me that each person may have a set of skills that they are "good at" or that they "could do" if necessary, but there is a small are in which they really "flourish".  The broad range of things they "could" do sometimes leaves that person feeling extremely frustrated because although they "could" do it, it is not something they are good at or enjoy. Sometimes people take jobs or career paths that leave them frustrated or feeling inadequate because they ignore this idea. 

Now every job is going to require some flexibility, but if I know that I really don't enjoy doing something, or I'm really not good at it. Why should I apologize for how God wired me? If I spent my time and energy doing the things that I'm gifted at or that I'm passionate about and find other people who are "gifted" in those frustrating areas, wouldn't everyone be better off? Now, I'm not talking about being stretched. We all have room to grow, but on the front end, there are just some things you know you are not good at or just cringe at the thought of doing them. 

I truly believe that God created us all with a unique purpose in this world. I am not designed to do the same thing my neighbor or co-worker does. We are the Body of Christ. We each have a part. Learning to be yourself and not apologizing for how God created you and empowering/encouraging others to find/serve in your weaknesses is part of what makes our uniqueness and purpose a beautiful thing.

I'm still learning this, even today. My prayer is that God gives me the confidence to be Me.
I'm still learning the art of "No" and praying He surrounds me with people to fill the gaps.

I just don't want to miss the mark of what God has created me to do because I'm too busy trying to be someone else.

As I seek His face, and as I face each day, I know one thing is for sure: I Will Follow. This is my prayer.

For we are His creation-created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

For His Renown,
Morgan