Monday, October 1, 2012

The Tension of "Yet"

I have found myself constantly thinking about the word "yet."  It's a three letter word that carries a lot of weight and  meaning. On one side it means things to come, "Are we there yet?" "Is it done yet?" "Are you ready yet?" It includes a time of waiting. Lately when people ask how we are doing, I want to share of all that God has done and how he is providing. I have caught myself saying things like, "I know God will provide. The bills aren't due "Yet." I have felt personally challenged by this statement a lot lately. The truth is a fact. We have not had a standard paycheck in a year now but.all of our bills have been paid in one form or another.   So why is it that when I check our bank account from time to time my heart starts to beat a little faster and beads of sweat start to form along with the tightness in my chest when it looks like it's not going to be enough? In these moments....God has been whispering the word "Yet" to my soul. It's as if He is reminding me, "I may not be early, but I'm also not late."

My mom just got back from her first mission trip to Guatemala. As we were looking through the pictures of the children and the housing that is common among the residents of the village, we were discussing that they don't really seem to "Want" for anything. The joy on their faces is not plagued with a worry that they won't have what they need. I think growing up in America has spoiled me. When things don't happen on my watch and  the waiting stretches me outside of my comfort zone, I'm tempted to panic. It is so uncalled for. It's usually an indication that my comfort level has dropped. The more that this happens (and it's been happening frequently) the louder God says..."YET!"

Looking back over the past year and even life has been a testimony of the YET of God. I see it. I know it. It doesn't feel easier. I believe God has to continually allow me to be in a position to SEE and LOOK for Him in the YET. If I always had the money for bills weeks in advance....I would become comfortable and content. But when the due date arrives and someone at lunch slides a check across the table for the amount that is due without knowing. Or when a friend that I haven't spoken to in a long time emails me to say..."I have written your name in my journal a lot the past few months. Would it be ok if I sent financial support to you and your husband through May?"  God forgive me for doubting you in the "Yet" moments.

The other definition I've been thinking about is when "yet" means: in spite of. My last summer in Vancouver, I was introduced to a song that would become my theme song in life. One that I would visit many times in the days ahead. The song is "Yet I will praise." I'm sure I've shared it with you before but as a reminder...

YET...I WILL praise You Lord.

Where are you today? Are you living in a "Yet" season? Do you think God has forgotten you? Do you think your struggle is too big to overcome? Does your mountain seem to high? Does your addiction seem too strong? Does your heart feel too broken? Are you too tired?

Don't give up. Our God is famous for the "Yet" seasons. When we come to the end of ourselves and in the midst of our situations are able to say "Yet I Will Praise," our perspectives change, we see our God is Greater, and we wait expectantly for how He chooses to work....not on OUR time....but on His, knowing He is NEVER late.

As hard as it is sometimes, I pray that I always remain in the tension of "yet"....knowing that I can wait expectantly while actively praising Him.

Continually striving for more of Him....and less of me.