I'm calling it the "in the meantime" season. That place where you know where you are and the needs of what lies ahead but you don't know how or when you'll get there. It could be needing money to pay the bills, waiting for a job, waiting to get a call from an adoption agency, waiting to take that pregnancy test, waiting for the college acceptance letter, waiting for that phone call after a date, waiting for the diagnosis or waiting to see if they accept your offer on a house. There are a lot of things it could be, but it all involves a lot of waiting and a lot of question marks. So what do you do "in the meantime?"
Glenn and I are in that season. I'm going to be really candid and share with you because it's not a secret, not anyone's fault, and we could use the prayer support. When we came on staff with our current ministry 7 months ago, we raised enough money to support ourselves for the first few months. After that, there was supposed to be another source of income coming into the ministry that would cover our salaries. To make a long story short that income has been delayed by about 6 months and completely out of our control. The ministry has covered our rent and bills the past few months, however they have said they can not guarantee that they will be able to cover July's bills or anything after due to lack of finances. So.....here we are.............................................................................................................................................................
Did you catch the number of dots? No one is to blame. It doesn't mean God is not faithful. It just is what it is.
However with rent and bills due in another few weeks and no income coming in we're left with a big fat question mark. We feel like God brought us here, but was it for different reasons than we once thought? What it a vehicle to a different path? It's hard to walk out a calling that requires you to depend on others for support. Sometimes it is a lonely road and I wonder if people think, "will she ever get a REAL job?" But in those moments, I don't feel the need to defend myself.....it's just the nature of what we do. We have no choice but to keep our options open in the meantime, but what does that look like? I asked some friends what they do in these moments and one of them said, "I try to focus on a goal that can be accomplished in the midst of the wait...something that calls out to be done, can be done right now, and that will prepare you for wherever HE ends up leading you." So what does it look like to "actively" wait?
Well...I've been reading one of the greatest books I've ever read "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson. It's subtitle is "Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears." God has put some really big dreams in my heart the past few months and I've decided to be proactive in praying around those dreams. I have decided to make The Dream Campaign its own 501c3 which will take some time, but it will allow me to make a difference in the lives of inner city youth no matter what happens or where God takes us. I think it was a God idea and He has provided the support and affirmation through numerous individuals. We will continue to walk out our ministry where He has placed us, all the while sending emails and just asking God to open and shut the necessary doors for us to be right where He wants us to be, be it here in Atlanta or elsewhere. God has placed some people in my life this week that I think will be influential in my life for a very long time. I'm reminded that God can and will use anything for His glory.
I've spent a lot of time on my back porch the past few days enjoying the sunshine, listening to the birds, reading, and honestly just spending some sweet time with the Lord. What I can say is that with all of the question marks and dots.....my soul is at peace. I went out yesterday and got a sketch book that is my dream book. I created my own visual of prayer circles and will spend a good portion of this next month praying circles around these dreams and fears.
God woke me up this morning with the word "Ebeneezer" on my mind. It means " thus far the Lord has helped us." I believe it was a kiss from the Holy Spirit as I opened my eyes.
I promised when I first created this blog that I would share the good, bad and the ugly of our journey and this is some of the "Days in the Paddock's Life.". I'm continually reminded that God has hemmed us in, behind and before. He is faithful. He has set our feet on solid ground. He is with us and He will not abandon us.
I guess this is just part of the adventure :) I am expectantly waiting and praying to see what God is going to do. It's in His hands so I can rest knowing we are safe there.
Thanks for your prayers.
For His Renown,
Morgan
Wow...you know I'm praying
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