I had a little experience today that made me think a lot....
I was invited to a little seminar on eating healthy. The understanding was that the individual would teach participants how to cook a healthy meal and the importance of health. Due to a previously scheduled worship team rehearsal, I was unable to attend. Glenn decided that he would still go and represent us. After dropping him off, I encountered the man in the parking lot and offered him my vacant space up front. Upon discovering that I was going to miss his lecture he proceeded to use guilt tactics.
Me: "I'm sorry sir, I have worship team practice and will not be able to attend."
Him: "Well then, I strongly suggest you consider faking a cold for the next two hours and be here. You need to hear what I have to say."
Me: "I'm sorry sir, I can't just not go. This is a commitment I have."
Him: "Well you need to seriously reconsider because you obviously need to be here."
I'm thankful it was a moment where God put his hand over my mouth and allowed me to leave without flying off the handle at him. (I'm also thankful that He did not allow me to make a U-turn half way to rehearsal after I had rehearsed all of the "should have said" statements in my mind.)
In hindsight, I believe this man was passionate about his message because he had a near death experience due to poor health. He was able to make changes in his life which has afforded him more time on earth. He wants others to understand the urgency of making healthy choices.
But....his delivery was all wrong. He bullied me. His tone and looks were filled with nothing but judgement. Nothing about his stance made me even slightly interested in anything he had to say....ever.
It does not mean that what he had to say was of no value or not even true. The result was that I could not receive that truth from him.
I have replayed this confrontation over and over in my head today and I can't help but wonder how often I (we all) do this, even unintentionally. Do we have a belief that is so strong that we desperately want others to know what we know or feel how we feel? Passion is not wrong as long as it is met with compassion.
I truly believe in earning the right to be heard. The best of intentions can be completely null and void if the audience does not feel like you care. Words can be intended as morsels of truth but swallowed as poison if not served in the right manner.
Yes, learn from your experiences. Use them to share wisdom with others. Speak about things in which you are passionate. But please....remain silent if you can not express your views without a lens of compassion. Let's make sure that we are not rattling off scriptures to say something is wrong without the message that Christ will meet you right where you are. I know I have been guilty of that in the past and done some serious damage to some relationships because of it.
Now if you back your compassion with passion? That's when some amazing things happen.
Just some food for thought...(Mr. Angry Food man wouldn't appreciate that statement, I'm sure.)
As I was reading Angry Food Man's statements, I was sitting here at my desk at work yelling, "No! No no no!" and shaking my finger at my computer screen. I might have done that in person if I had been on the receiving end of it. You handled yourself with a lot more grace than I could have mustered.
ReplyDelete