Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Hiding In Plain Sight

I rented a movie with this title a few nights ago. It was about a family who had fallen on hard times and were living out of their car. There was this struggle with God about never leaving or forsaking them and it wasn't until a school teacher had to bring his student "home" that they were discovered and needs were met. The title has been on my mind since then...."Hiding in Plain Sight."

It has been a super busy month for the Dream Campaign. I will post an update on all of the ministry taking place. Just in the past month we have come into contact with about 80-100 new kids and their families. Our block is filled with kids playing in the streets, while drug deals and other things happen around them. I've seen it. It keeps me up at night to wonder what else is really going on. How many of the kids we work with are "Hiding in Plain Sight?"

But this got me thinking even more. How many people in general are "Hiding in Plain Sight?" Co-workers, family, friends, people sitting next to me at church? How many people are fighting a battle within or difficult circumstances that walk in front of me everyday that I may never know about?

How often do I do it?

Just yesterday I was struggling pretty bad internally and I sent a few girlfriends a basic "pray for me" text message. But that was it. There are days when I don't know how to express the deepest places in my heart. There are moments when I can't make sense of the chaos I see or how I'm even supposed to help. There are situations where I have fear and doubt and feel ashamed at my lack of faith and trust. There are days when I am screaming inside, yet slap on smile and face the day. To be honest...in those moments...I'm afraid to be seen. I'm afraid of what people will "think" or afraid they won't understand. I'm afraid my life will be misrepresented in a conversation somewhere along the way like a game of telephone. At times I can be a broken person hiding in the shell of my skin and no one knows.

Except God.  He always knows. He always sees. He always understands. And some days that is enough. And if I'm honest, other days, I need Him to be able to reach down from Heaven and physically hug or wipe my tears. But I believe He does that through others. I believe He uses other people as vessels to be his hands, feet and even hugs. But how can that happen if authenticity in relationships does not exist. If we don't allow ourselves to be seen?  I feel like that tension exists because we are human. We are broken people loving other broken people. Because sin is our nature. It's easy to mask gossip as "prayer requests." It's easy to judge another person without examining our own plank...even when we have the best of intentions. It's easy to be concerned with ourselves rather than carry another's burden.

It's called Community. We all need it. God created us for it. Being authentic is sometimes difficult because we want to remain hidden. It feels easier, but it takes a lot more work to hide than to be seen.

I have some incredible people in my life, but only I control how much of me is seen.

In the meantime, I'm glad that even when I don't feel it....God sees.

Are you hiding in plain sight? Do you want to be found?

Guess what...you already are.

Psalm 139


139 Lord, you have tested me,
    so you know all about me.
You know when I sit down and when I get up.
    You know my thoughts from far away.
You know where I go and where I lie down.
    You know everything I do.
Lord, you know what I want to say,
    even before the words leave my mouth.
You are all around me—in front of me and behind me.
    I feel your hand on my shoulder.
I am amazed at what you know;
    it is too much for me to understand.
Your Spirit is everywhere I go.
    I cannot escape your presence.
If I go up to heaven, you will be there.
    If I go down to the place of death, you will be there.
If I go east where the sun rises
    or go to live in the west beyond the sea,
10 even there you will take my hand and lead me.
    Your strong right hand will protect me.
11 Suppose I wanted to hide from you and said,
    “Surely the darkness will hide me.
    The day will change to night and cover me.”
12 Even the darkness is not dark to you.
    The night is as bright as the day.
    Darkness and light are the same.
13 You formed the way I think and feel.[a]
    You put me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because you made me in such a wonderful way.
    I know how amazing that was!
15 You could see my bones grow as my body took shape,
    hidden in my mother’s womb.[b]
16 You could see my body grow each passing day.[c]
    You listed all my parts, and not one of them was missing.
17 Your thoughts are beyond my understanding.[d]
    They cannot be measured!
18 If I could count them, they would be more than all the grains of sand.
    But when I finished, I would have just begun.
Blessings,
Morgan


1 comment:

  1. Very transparent. I understand. Been there and done that and at times still doing it. There is so much more to say to this but it would take up all the space I have lol. Thanks for the word and the transparency because it let's us know that we are not alone. - Keisha

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