It Starts with Me: My response to "The Verdict"

Some of you will stop reading the moment you see the topic of this blog, but I would encourage you to read it in its entirety. It is not at all what you think. I have avoided sharing my thoughts on the Trayvon Martin case 1) Because I did not follow it closely and can not speak to if the man was really guilty or not 2) I don't like controversial debates 3) Emotions have been way to high to be rational 4) To be honest...a lot of people already assumed they knew what I thought. Why, you ask? I'm white. There was an enormous amount of racially targeted comments and assumptions made with the verdict of this case. Let me preface the following with the fact that any loss of life is something to grieve. Any loss of a young life is reason to be outraged. But I want to have a voice for what I truly feel is heartbreaking about this whole scenario.

To be honest, the day the verdict was read, I had no idea it was happening. I was at my mom's house on a Saturday night playing cards when I realized what was happening. For those who do not know, we moved into an inner city neighborhood a couple of months ago.  We are one of the few white people who live in the surrounding blocks. We have been called, "Those white people" by some of our neighbors. We get looks all the time like, "What are they doing here?" Other neighbors welcome us with open arms. We realize that moving onto our corner was a shock for some. I've been told by a man on a bike, "Be careful out here" when walking into the house late one night. I've watched numerous drug deals happen from our window or back porch. It does not bother me to have a different color skin from my neighbors. But it made me nervous when the verdict was read.

Why? Because people were irrational. As I pulled up to our house I got a text message from my mom that said, "Not Guilty." That walk to my front door went in slow motion. I immediately started seeing posts on Facebook about the "White" man. How people wanted to riot and murder. $#%^ the "white people." Did the color of my skin suddenly dictate everything about me? In that moment...yes.  The most heart breaking thing of all was that most of this talk was coming from kids. Teenagers. Many of whom probably didn't watch the case but jumped on a media and cultural bandwagon of extremely high emotionally fueled responses to a situation. These are kids we have worked with and considered our own, but in that moment, we were the enemy. 

As we laid in bed we listened to gun shots going off in our neighborhood. I looked over at Glenn and he said, "It's probably going to happen for awhile tonight." I read and responded to some of the comments I saw but realized it was so much bigger than what I could speak to. What could I do? Had we taken 10 steps back?

It scared me to think that kids were so quick to jump on a bandwagon not of justice but of hate and revenge. Would this be the course of their life? When would they decided that they had a choice and could choose peace? Would we be effective where we lived?

My heart was heavy. My heart was broken for a generation. My heart was grieving for the families. 

I realized that this all exists because we live in a broken world. A world and a people who need to be reconciled one to another and to God.

In an extended time of silence and scripture reading the next night I was raw with God and He led me to this passage, " Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own. Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look......All this comes from God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other.  God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins.  God has given us the take of telling everyone what he is doing.  We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them." 2 Corinthians 5:21 (The Message) I shortened it for this blog, but encourage you to read it in its entirety.

This was my answer clear as day. Because we live in a broken world, we will face persecution, judgement, injustice. Our assignment is to be in the business of reconciliation, one to another and one to God. I have been incredibly disheartened by things I've seen posted by those in the Christian community. Do you not read the same Bible I do? Some of you are only fueling the fire of division. I read a comment on FB recently by someone who said, "Are you going to be Kerosene or Comfort? 

If we are called to be peacemakers it has to start with us. Our future generations are watching how we handle our daily life and our responses on a larger scale.

Forgiveness is the ONLY thing that will breed an eternal difference in these kids lives.

At the end of the day its not about our skin, it's about our heart.
Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Blessings, 

Morgan