To See and Be Seen

My writing prompt today is on "Connections."

I kid you not that the only thing running through my mind at this moment is this song. It was stuck in my head all day earlier this week.  I frequently change the words from "girl" to "boy" and sing it to my husband. Welcome to my brain. Welcome to his life.

Now that I have offloaded THAT thought..

One of my favorite games to play when I was little was hide and seek. Do you remember those times when you found THE perfect hiding spot? The sound of footsteps nearing your secret place caused you to hold your breath as to not give yourself away. The adrenaline pumped through you when your instincts proved correct about your stellar choice in hideaways. Just as you thought the coast was clear you carefully emerged into the wide open space and all of the sudden you felt a hand touch your shoulder followed by an excited, "YOU'RE IT!" You had been seen.

To see and be seen carries a plethora of feelings with it.

"What if I WANTED to hide?" or "Oh, thank God you are here!"
"I never asked you to come." or "I did not think anyone would ever notice."

All of those scenarios result in a connection between the seeker and the identified. There is something at the heart of all of us that desperately wants to know that we are seen. Cared for. Thought of. Worth seeing.

It is all too easy to put the responsibility on the person doing the seeking. I have been there. Have you ever kept tabs on which friends called you on your birthday? Which ones forgot? Don't lie. Ha! Have you ever felt looked over and come up with all sorts of ridiculous reasons why someone else was seen over you?

The writing group that I'm a part of often poses the question, "What do you need?" We started off our recent retreat this way. My response was, "I need to sit in this big comfortable chair with my soft blanket. I need to put my feet up and rest for a few days." I knew that I needed that because it was self-care and it is not something I do enough of at home. A year ago I would have been terrified to speak that need, but I was given permission to be seen for where I was in that moment. Do you know that I got exactly what I asked for that weekend because every single person there knew exactly how to affirm and see me? It was a refreshing experience in that way.

I do not think we do that enough. What would our friendships, homes, marriages, etc, look like if we simply asked the question, "What do you need?" and then answered it honestly ourselves.

Connection can be scary. It means opening ourselves up to the possibility of hurt or scrutiny. It sometimes means having light shed on an area of our life we would much rather keep in the darkness. Connection can also be the most beautiful, life-giving experience when handled with the care it so deserves. It can unlock places in us that have been hidden for too long. It can bring healing to the deepest of wounds. It is the hand that extends itself in a terrifying moment and offers support. It is peace of knowing that you are not alone.

We were made for connection.

I know that I am at my best when I am seen. It gives me the confidence to own whatever place I am in life. I also find that when I am looking to see others in specific ways, my life is more positive.

Do not be afraid to speak what you need. There are people that would help if they just knew how. Have grace on the fact that no one in this world is a mind reader.

How do you need to be seen today?