There is something else happening tomorrow that it will be a milestone in our time here at Rescue Atlanta. Tomorrow marks the beginning of Rescue Atlanta's Urban Training Institute. This will be a 6 month residential program for men who are "sick and tired of being sick and tired" and "mature in their misery." They will go through various classes, training, mentoring, etc to give them the tools necessary to change their life. My husband, Glenn, will be overseeing the program. He is a product of the Urban Training Institute in Savannah, GA and it is really an amazing thing to see his life kind of come back full circle to be able to guide/mentor a group of men. He has sat where they sit and knows what it takes. I couldn't be more proud as a wife. Please keep this program in your prayers. I'll type more on this later this week.
But the whole idea of it has been on my mind a lot this week and kind of came to a head today. As some of you may know, I have started out on my own journey to better health repeatedly over the past 10 + years. I'll always say..."This is it."..."No turning back.".....etc, etc etc. Only to find myself sitting here months later..in the same place. I'll start, but never finish. I'll give it my best shot, and then trip up and fall off the wagon. I repeat bad habits. And then I end up feeling like the girl who cried wolf. I feel like people read my new attempts and say..."Yeah right." Really...I don't blame them. I create blogs and facebook groups for accountability....and then drop off the face of the earth.
This week, I reconnected with a friend of mine from college on Facebook. The first thing he asked me was..."Are you still doing the pleasingly plump diaries? (This was a blog/facebook group I created for an honest view of my journey). I really enjoyed reading it. I've lost over 100 lbs in the past year." It was as if a knife of conviction went straight to my gut. Here I was the person setting out to be an example, giving out hope and inspiration...and someone else did what I set out to do. Thanks to that friend, because he caused me to take an honest look at my life. In general...not just weight.
One of the key requirements for the Urban Training Institute is that the men enrolling be "sick and tired of being sick and tired." Why? Because that's really the only way they will make the changes necessary. If there is another way, another out, another option that still holds some sort of intrigue to them....they will, by default, take it. And I've discovered that it is the same way with me. I need that same standard. I sat out on the porch this afternoon and just whispered to God..."God..I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired..in so many areas of my life. I can't live like this anymore. I'm tired of holding onto the past. I'm tired of living in insecurity. I'm tired of the worry. I'm tired of fear. I'm tired of being afraid to do certain things. I'm tired of being limited in some things I can do. I'm tired of watching many of my friends being pregnant at the same time, some on their fourth child, and not knowing if I can ever experience that due to my health. I know these thoughts and fears are NOT of you. I'm tired of talking the talk..I am desperate to walk the walk and finish strong. I want my life, even my physical body to be a testimony to glorify you. So, please...as I reflect on Easter this year...the way your Son died on the cross and rose again to make it possible for me to be a new creation.....help me to put to death these old things, and embrace a new day....a new life...a new way of living as a new creation."
So what does this mean? I'm not sure really. I just know that before..I've done it for all the wrong reasons. I'm not saying I'm not gonna trip up. But there is a desperation that has never been there before. Glenn and I joined a gym this morning...and I'm registered for 20 classes of Zumba to start. But there is a lot of mental and emotional baggage I've got to deal with as well. I ONLY share this in this way because I believe for the number of people that read this...someone else identifies and may need to know they are not alone. I work with people and kids every day that don't believe their circumstances can be any different than they are. I want to do whatever it takes to show them that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE, but it may take hard work!
I'm really thankful tonight for the Sacrifice my Lord made for me. And I want to do a better job of displaying that thankfulness in my life..mind, body, and spirit.
No matter how many times I've stumbled, failed, or quit.....my race is not over. For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
"Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!" Hebrews 12:2-3
Never give up.
For His Renown,
Morgan
Morgan, Thank you!!!
ReplyDeleteJust a personal post about my struggle with weight. This week I had a talk with a friend and I asked him(also a "big dude") if he felt like the times when he got sick if it had to do with his weight or in ability to be healthy b/c of his weight. I really feel like if I was in better shape that the last 4.5 weeks of strep and bronchitis would have been shorter or maybe not even worth mentioning. But here I sit. Saturday night struggling to get a decent breath. Ready to take my antibiotics. Same thing for the last few weeks. "Im sick of being sick" is what I told my friend. I just want to feel better so I can do what I need to do. But back to my original thought. It can be done. I lost 100 pounds once and was on my way to a healthy good feeling body weight. I had just decided that I was going to eat right, exercise everyday and then rest on the weekends(or two days off of no exercise) and thats what did it. I didn't snack or binge or anything. I ate fruit and yogurt in the morning. I ate lunch and sometimes I had dinner and sometimes I didn't. When I didn't I ate yogurt. I ran every afternoon after work. Didn't care if my day was bad or good. I just ran in a healthy way and the weight just fell off. I put on sizes of clothing that I hadn't seen in 15-20 yrs. It was amazing. So now I'm in setback mode. Ive regained and its gonna be even harder to lose but I know it takes that day of waking up and saying, " I'm gonna do this today and then do it everyday and you know what else? I didn't way myself. I didn't count calories or points. I actually just heard myself breathing easier. I get the ability to pick things up and walk upstairs and honestly I saw it on peoples faces when they saw me. they told me there was a change. that made me feel good b/c they cared to see a difference and to say to me they knew something was different and changing. I've rambled. I know what its like to struggle like this. It can be done. No matter the history of what got you to your current state. All states can be altered. Get up! Run for your life. Your life is going to be good when you feel like living it!
ReplyDeleteMuch Love from Mike Price!
God please forgive my typos. I was in rant and not spelling grammar mode!
DeleteMike P.